Say the word “vacation” to a mommy and watch our skeptic-antenna activate. We’ve been down this it’ll-be-great road before and we’re not falling for the same dumb carrot. To a mommy, “vacation” means long, hot, car rides with bored, fussy kids. Sand in everything. Hotel rooms that look better on their website than in person. And wads of money flying out the wallet at every turn.

Nope, we’re not sold. We’ll use the pool at the health club, thank you very much.

Then along comes a crazy writer for Romance and the Mommy.com suggesting that a vacation for a mommy really does exist, Virginia. Picture this: you, him and the kiddos on a fabulous, sun drenched seven-day voyage that has the most spectacular childcare known to mom (or kid).

As in, it opens practically at dawn and stays rockin’ until deep into the night. Child care so awesome that you’d have to drag your kids kicking and screaming to get them out – but why would you? Let them play while you score some much needed time in the romance department.

The adults get to marinate in the jillion of adults-only amenities: wonderful spa, salon, health club, cafe, pool and hot tub.

And the entertainment? Broadway style shows in the evening that’ll leave you bummed that you didn’t also slip into the matinee. Shore excursions too cool and numerous to mention. Plus a restaurant at the top of the ship for adults-only that offers the best view known to pelican. Stunning.

Food sized for normal people (right on! I didn’t gain weight!) and every bite stellar. The true marvel? The waiters. All moms know what it’s like to attempt to please several hungry people simultaneously. Mission: Impossible, right? Our two waiters, who rotated with us from restaurant to restaurant each evening, Svet and Hibash, were so fabulous that I’m putting them in the will.

Even tips are stress-free: they’re disbursed at the end of the trip so that you’re not constantly fumbling for the wallet.

You won’t believe where you’ll find this incredible cruise. Disney. That’s right: the Disney Cruise Line. This remarkable brainstorm of a trip has the touch of a woman all over it because it is purely and solely set up for mommies. (I don’t care what the website says.)

Don’t live close to Florida, you say? Check it out: starting in May to August ’08 Disney is offering a cruise out of LA to the Mexican Riviera or a longer 15-day repositioning cruise through the Panama Canal. Muy Calienta, Mamas! Word to the wise (oops, sorry, mom and wise are redundant, aren’t they?): those in the know fill these ships fast. The clock is ticking, so start clicking at: mama needs a cruise or www.disneycruise.disney.go.com